Frankbeaton.com

“I represent the gangsta party.”

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Since I missed last week’s BDF (because I was at freakin’ DISNEYLAND!), here’s a double-dose to close it out right.

First up: Hey! Haven’t you ever wanted to see what Lionel Ritchie playing soccer would look like? Well, wonder no more, my little chipwiches! Check out the weirdly inappropriate video for the Commodores’ 1980 hit “Lady (You Bring Me Up)” and marvel at how ineffective of a goalkeeper Nicole’s daddy was.

Lastly, here’s another one by the Gap Band. ‘Cause they’re awesome. And they dress like the most awesome gay cowboys EVER.

Notice how much better their choreography is than the Commodores’? And how much less commercially successful they were? Connection? Something to think about…

Stay groovy, my babies.

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Didn’t attend this year due to work obligations, but I kind of wish I had — especially after seeing this photograph of protesters climbing City Hall.

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Via eBay:

The Menatone “Ms. Foxy Brown” Overdrive Pedal.

Your guitar has never sounded more badasssssss.

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…has restored my faith in Tim Burton. Excellent movie, perfectly executed.

Mr. Burton, you are hereby forgiven for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

And Mars Attacks!.

And Planet of the Apes.

And— hmm.

Okay, I’m sorry, I just can’t excuse Planet of the Apes. I thought I could, but I can’t. That shit was just awful.

Sweeney Todd is really good, though.

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I’ve been way too busy to properly blog, so I’m going to just continue to post video clips for the foreseeable future. Cool? Cool.

Now shut up and listen to this ADORABLE three-year-old explain the plot of Star Wars, and remember: don’t talk back to Darth Vader!

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Things to do this weekend:

1. Referee a boxing match between an old woman and an old man
2. Strap on a banana hammock and dance in the surf
3. Dance down the street with two buddies, all of us dressed in leather cowboy costumes
4. Convince a Buddhist monk to breakdance

DON’T MISS THE PARTY TRAIN, PEOPLE!!

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‘10,000 B.C.’: Time Bomb, By Kurt Loder

The new Roland Emmerich movie “10,000 B.C.” can be recommended to those who have (1) never seen Mel Gibson’s vastly superior “Apocalypto”; (2) never seen the matchless “Lord of the Rings” pictures; or (3) never seen a movie before in their lives.

Heh.

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