Frankbeaton.com

Y’all want me to sing what, now?

Back in the eighties and nineties, you could pinpoint the exact moment when a band ceased to be cool or interesting or relevant. It was when they hired a full symphony orchestra to back them — usually on some shitty anthemic power ballad.

Bands these days are exactly the same. Only now it’s a gospel choir.

I guess what I’m wondering is, am I the only one who feels really embarrassed for the people IN these symphonies and choirs? The gospel singers who really just want to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, the classically-trained musicians whose lives have been dedicated to honoring the great composers — all of them reduced to playing kid-simple chord progressions or belting out some half-literate retard poem about the singer’s ex-girlfriend. God, how awful for them! One day you’re performing at Albert Hall with the London Philharmonic, the next day you’re crammed into a recording booth, taking orders from some 16th minute rock star itching his way through rehab.

Horrible.

So. Consider this a targeted public service announcement. To the Killers and Rilo Kiley and Muse and all the rest of you: Please stop embarrassing gospel singers for the sake of irony. It’s kind of fucked up.